I've lost my mojo...

How is it that I could have lived almost an entire 25 years on this earth without knowing you exist, and been perfectly content with my life. I'm not saying I was happy 100% of the time, I definitely had my ups and downs. But for the most part, I was pretty happy with my life. So why is it, after only knowing you for a little over 2 months, that I feel lost and empty without you? Like half of me is missing? Like that part of me (you, of course) is just out of reach, and I can't decide if its getting closer, moving away, or just staying still? Seriously, how much sense does that make!

Everything I do reminds me of you. The umpteen million people that come through the drive thru with USAA credit cards (because you work there) or the other umpteen million that have Bank of America credit cards (becuase you really don't like them). The people that drive a GMC Sierra, especially the blue ones. The guys that come in with plaid shorts on from Old Navy or Ambercrombie (I can hear you say "Plaid Pants!" everytime I see them). The people with TTU paraphenalia everywhere. The people that make it a point to tell me that they drove in from San Antonio that day. Everytime I think about eating anywhere, because we always joke about having eaten every kind of food there is (Mexican, Italian, Seafood, American, .....) in a 2 week period. Everytime I drive anywhere, especially down 35 South or 360. Everytime I turn on the tv and an episode of family guy is on. Everytime I use this laptop because you made it work better for me. Everytime I try to find a new job, I hear your encouragement in my ear. Everytime I pray, I think about you. Everytime I think about anything, you're there in my mind. I swear, God is not making this easier on me. He just won't let me forget, for one second, what an important part of my life you've become, like it or not. I feel like screaming most days, just for the release.

I wonder if you feel way this too. I don't want you to, because I've always just wanted you to be happy. But I do want you to, because that means that you do love me, and its not just words that you're saying...