How is it that I could have lived almost an entire 25 years on this earth without knowing you exist, and been perfectly content with my life. I'm not saying I was happy 100% of the time, I definitely had my ups and downs. But for the most part, I was pretty happy with my life. So why is it, after only knowing you for a little over 2 months, that I feel lost and empty without you? Like half of me is missing? Like that part of me (you, of course) is just out of reach, and I can't decide if its getting closer, moving away, or just staying still? Seriously, how much sense does that make!
Everything I do reminds me of you. The umpteen million people that come through the drive thru with USAA credit cards (because you work there) or the other umpteen million that have Bank of America credit cards (becuase you really don't like them). The people that drive a GMC Sierra, especially the blue ones. The guys that come in with plaid shorts on from Old Navy or Ambercrombie (I can hear you say "Plaid Pants!" everytime I see them). The people with TTU paraphenalia everywhere. The people that make it a point to tell me that they drove in from San Antonio that day. Everytime I think about eating anywhere, because we always joke about having eaten every kind of food there is (Mexican, Italian, Seafood, American, .....) in a 2 week period. Everytime I drive anywhere, especially down 35 South or 360. Everytime I turn on the tv and an episode of family guy is on. Everytime I use this laptop because you made it work better for me. Everytime I try to find a new job, I hear your encouragement in my ear. Everytime I pray, I think about you. Everytime I think about anything, you're there in my mind. I swear, God is not making this easier on me. He just won't let me forget, for one second, what an important part of my life you've become, like it or not. I feel like screaming most days, just for the release.
I wonder if you feel way this too. I don't want you to, because I've always just wanted you to be happy. But I do want you to, because that means that you do love me, and its not just words that you're saying...
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
My boys.....have twins!?
Somehow I've managed to go from being dismissed by every boy on the planet, to pretty much having two boyfriends. How did I ever get here!? I met Daniel first. He is positively the sweetest person I've ever met. There is nothing, and I mean nothing - he drove all the way from south austin to my apartment just to bring me chinese food! - that he wouldn't do for me. He is amazing. He is a bartender down on 6th street so we always have a good place to go to get good drinks! He and his twin brother are 28 - Daniel is older by 15 minutes. I love Daniel so much, but I am not in love with Daniel. I hate that I don't feel for him what he feels for me. I would give anything just to feel some sort of romantic emotion for him. Until last Friday, that is.
Last Friday my friend Christy and I went to a concert in San Antonio. We saw Red Jumpsuit Aparratus and Blue October, as well as a few VERY hot guys. As we didn't know their names, we just gave them all nicknames, (a la Izzy with Meredith's boys). Red Shirt Guy was very hot as was his friend, Black Shirt Guy. That one would've worked out nicely as I liked Red better and Christy was more impressed with Black Shirt Guy. They kept on walking, however, so we moved on. White Shirt Guy was cute and he made eyes at me in the beer line, but then he started hanging all over some chick whom I can only assume is his girlfriend. Therefore White Shirt Guy became Typical Guy. Tattoo Guy guy came next. Tat Guy was the kind of eye candy that made our teeth sweat, but somehow his girlfriend (key word here) was not. Then Christy pointed out Baseball Shirt Guy. He had me at Baseball Shirt! We watched him for a while, but decided he was probably on the phone with his girlfriend. I couldn't keep from looking over at him, though. Don't judge, he's hot! And it payed off. Turns out he was on the phone with his best friend. He came over and offered me a beer and that, as they say, was that.
Baseball shirt guy is now known as Casey. Casey is also amazing. He graduated from Tech last year. He's only 23, but he's got an education and the beginning of a promising career. Casey works in the IT department of USAA at their headquarters in SA town. He's a computer nerd which works with my band nerdiness quite nicely. He plays softball and soccer and loves the 'stros! He lives in San Antonio, though, and that is entirely too far away! Casey gives me the flutters in my tummy just by looking at me to talking to me on the phone. I haven't felt anything like this since high school. And now for the shocker. He is 5 minutes older than his twin brother. Yes, that's right people, they are both one of twins. Heaven help me, I think I've been dropped in the Twilight Zone!
Last Friday my friend Christy and I went to a concert in San Antonio. We saw Red Jumpsuit Aparratus and Blue October, as well as a few VERY hot guys. As we didn't know their names, we just gave them all nicknames, (a la Izzy with Meredith's boys). Red Shirt Guy was very hot as was his friend, Black Shirt Guy. That one would've worked out nicely as I liked Red better and Christy was more impressed with Black Shirt Guy. They kept on walking, however, so we moved on. White Shirt Guy was cute and he made eyes at me in the beer line, but then he started hanging all over some chick whom I can only assume is his girlfriend. Therefore White Shirt Guy became Typical Guy. Tattoo Guy guy came next. Tat Guy was the kind of eye candy that made our teeth sweat, but somehow his girlfriend (key word here) was not. Then Christy pointed out Baseball Shirt Guy. He had me at Baseball Shirt! We watched him for a while, but decided he was probably on the phone with his girlfriend. I couldn't keep from looking over at him, though. Don't judge, he's hot! And it payed off. Turns out he was on the phone with his best friend. He came over and offered me a beer and that, as they say, was that.
Baseball shirt guy is now known as Casey. Casey is also amazing. He graduated from Tech last year. He's only 23, but he's got an education and the beginning of a promising career. Casey works in the IT department of USAA at their headquarters in SA town. He's a computer nerd which works with my band nerdiness quite nicely. He plays softball and soccer and loves the 'stros! He lives in San Antonio, though, and that is entirely too far away! Casey gives me the flutters in my tummy just by looking at me to talking to me on the phone. I haven't felt anything like this since high school. And now for the shocker. He is 5 minutes older than his twin brother. Yes, that's right people, they are both one of twins. Heaven help me, I think I've been dropped in the Twilight Zone!
Friday, March 9, 2007
Alert the press, I've updated!
So much has happened since I last updated, I'm a little dumbfounded on where to start! First, and most exciting, I moved! I now live in a grown-up apartment. I love my new place! It's just so BIG! My grown-up bedroom set looks fantastic in it. Now I just need grown-up living room and dining room furniture and I'll be set!
Second, I met a boy. I resisted said boy for a good month before I finally gave in to liking him. What changed, you ask? Well, I saw his bathroom. Yes, that's right, his bathroom. It was clean. No gross boy areas, everything matched, there was art on the walls, and most importantly, toilet paper was available! After noting this, I decided I could give said boy a chance. So after seeing the bathroom, I walked into his bedroom. And low and behold, it was clean, everything matched, there was tons of art displayed, and, thankfully, no toilet paper here. I was hooked! So here are the stats on my boy. He's a communication design major at Texas State University. He works at a bank when he's not in class. He is constantly working on one project or another for one of his art classes. (And yes, the art in his apartment is his own work) He is a junior and a half, and probably has 1 1/2 - 2 years left until he graduates. He is commited and focused on his classes and graduating. He is tall and adorable and honestly gives the best hugs in the whole entire world. There is a slight possibility that this just might be a biased oppinion. :)
Second, I met a boy. I resisted said boy for a good month before I finally gave in to liking him. What changed, you ask? Well, I saw his bathroom. Yes, that's right, his bathroom. It was clean. No gross boy areas, everything matched, there was art on the walls, and most importantly, toilet paper was available! After noting this, I decided I could give said boy a chance. So after seeing the bathroom, I walked into his bedroom. And low and behold, it was clean, everything matched, there was tons of art displayed, and, thankfully, no toilet paper here. I was hooked! So here are the stats on my boy. He's a communication design major at Texas State University. He works at a bank when he's not in class. He is constantly working on one project or another for one of his art classes. (And yes, the art in his apartment is his own work) He is a junior and a half, and probably has 1 1/2 - 2 years left until he graduates. He is commited and focused on his classes and graduating. He is tall and adorable and honestly gives the best hugs in the whole entire world. There is a slight possibility that this just might be a biased oppinion. :)
Monday, January 8, 2007
Getting out there...
I am proud to say that I've already started working on my personal goals for 2007. I went downtown with my work boyfriend yesterday. We went to this really awesome steakhouse on 6th called Ruth Chris. I think that was the best steak I've ever had. We did some wine tasting while we were there, and I drank almost an entire glass of wine. Hey, don't judge, those glasses were as big as my face!
I did, however, pass up the perfect picture taking night tonight. I kept reminding myself to bring my camera to Dedication Dinner, but it seems I'm not very good at minding me. We ate at Mike's El Ranchero on South Lamar. The food was pretty good, the place was well decorated, and the staff working that night were great. There were one or two hot guys running around the place, and this is where I miss my camera the most! Oh well, I'm two for three attempted so far. At least that's positive odds!
I did, however, pass up the perfect picture taking night tonight. I kept reminding myself to bring my camera to Dedication Dinner, but it seems I'm not very good at minding me. We ate at Mike's El Ranchero on South Lamar. The food was pretty good, the place was well decorated, and the staff working that night were great. There were one or two hot guys running around the place, and this is where I miss my camera the most! Oh well, I'm two for three attempted so far. At least that's positive odds!
Thursday, January 4, 2007
2006... A Brief History
It's hard to believe that 2006 has come and gone. I have so many great memories, I don't know where to start. I traveled to 6 states all over the country, some business and some pleasure. I went to New York to take the Police Officer exam and just to go to NYC, Maryland for parents' weekend at the Naval Academy to see my little brother, California for two Chick-fil-A grand openings, Colorado to visit a friend, Louisiana to teach at the Carthage High School band camp, and Georgia for a marketing class at the Chick-fil-A home office. Throughout the year, some friendships were created, some strengthened, others renewed, and sadly, a couple dwindled away. The year saw two marriages within my friends, and another engagement. And on that note, I look to the future.
I have come up with my personal goals for 2007. I don't believe in new years resolutions, mostly because no one ever accomplishes their resolutions. And because I am not resolving myself to these hardships, I am personally choosing these goals. Yeah, I know its all a matter of perspective, but looking at it this way greatly increases my chances of reaching those goals. (It also helps that most of them are fun!)
Personal Goal #1: Get Organized
This is probably the most overused resolution or goal, but it is tried and true and unfortunately, all too necessary. I'm tired of a messy apartment, and I'm convinced after watching countless HGTV shows that being organized will make my apartment magically stay clean!
Personal Goal #2: Get Out More
This is one of the fun goals! No more staying home with my dog and reading a book every night. (Think of the money I'll save on books!) I'm going to get out of the house more and actually live my life! At least once a week, I'm gonna at least go sit in a bar and have a drink, which leads me to...
Personal Goal #3: Acquire a Taste for Wine
I have this image in my head of the perfect relaxing evening. I'm laying back in a comfy chair, curled up with a good book, some jazz or big band music playing in the background, and a big glass of wine close at hand. I'm determined to learn to love wine. Hey, I'm looking out for my health here. A glass of wine a day is supposed to be good for you. Not to mention the stress-release side-effects!
Personal Goal #4: Take More Pictures
I have a pretty good digital camera that I got when I graduated college over a year ago, and I intend to put it to good use. Plus its so much easier to explain things, or just tell a story if there are corroborating pictures. And getting out more should provide me with photo ops! And finally, last but not least....
Personal Goal #5: Exercise More
Ok, so this is probably the most common phrase uttered in any given January when discussing plans for the future, but I'm sticking with it. I have always been involved in some sort of activity or organization that kept me active. Until this past year, that is. Now I need to get in the habit of working out. That means getting off my lazy ass and actually doing stuff. See, I'm trying to help myself out, seeing as reading a book isn't exactly considered a strenuous activity!
So here's to 2007, may it be a year of excitement and fun, filled with new friends and old with plenty of pictures to help me remember all the good times, and a relaxing glass of wine at the end of 365 amazing days.
I have come up with my personal goals for 2007. I don't believe in new years resolutions, mostly because no one ever accomplishes their resolutions. And because I am not resolving myself to these hardships, I am personally choosing these goals. Yeah, I know its all a matter of perspective, but looking at it this way greatly increases my chances of reaching those goals. (It also helps that most of them are fun!)
Personal Goal #1: Get Organized
This is probably the most overused resolution or goal, but it is tried and true and unfortunately, all too necessary. I'm tired of a messy apartment, and I'm convinced after watching countless HGTV shows that being organized will make my apartment magically stay clean!
Personal Goal #2: Get Out More
This is one of the fun goals! No more staying home with my dog and reading a book every night. (Think of the money I'll save on books!) I'm going to get out of the house more and actually live my life! At least once a week, I'm gonna at least go sit in a bar and have a drink, which leads me to...
Personal Goal #3: Acquire a Taste for Wine
I have this image in my head of the perfect relaxing evening. I'm laying back in a comfy chair, curled up with a good book, some jazz or big band music playing in the background, and a big glass of wine close at hand. I'm determined to learn to love wine. Hey, I'm looking out for my health here. A glass of wine a day is supposed to be good for you. Not to mention the stress-release side-effects!
Personal Goal #4: Take More Pictures
I have a pretty good digital camera that I got when I graduated college over a year ago, and I intend to put it to good use. Plus its so much easier to explain things, or just tell a story if there are corroborating pictures. And getting out more should provide me with photo ops! And finally, last but not least....
Personal Goal #5: Exercise More
Ok, so this is probably the most common phrase uttered in any given January when discussing plans for the future, but I'm sticking with it. I have always been involved in some sort of activity or organization that kept me active. Until this past year, that is. Now I need to get in the habit of working out. That means getting off my lazy ass and actually doing stuff. See, I'm trying to help myself out, seeing as reading a book isn't exactly considered a strenuous activity!
So here's to 2007, may it be a year of excitement and fun, filled with new friends and old with plenty of pictures to help me remember all the good times, and a relaxing glass of wine at the end of 365 amazing days.
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Christmas Traditions
Every family has their own Christmas traditions. This year, we broke away from the same-old everyday turkey and ham Christmas dinners and opted for a Christmas brunch on Christmas Eve Day. We had breakfast burritos with lots of salsa, a spinich and mushroom quiche, three different breakfast cassaroles, pigs in a blanket, and my personal favorite, mimosas! We had family there spaning four generations. Needless to say, we represented East Texas well, with our front yard looking like a used car lot. The only thing missing were those multi-colored penant flags and the annoying salesman. (Something to strive for next year!) But I think we forged a new Christmas tradition this year. The mimosas just put everyone in the Christmas spirit!
My two little second cousins, Laney (2) and Koryn (4), acted as Santa's little helpers when it came time to pass out the gifts. That, (and these adorable little aprons mom got for them), earned them the privilege of helping Granny make the Christmas cookies this year. This is one Christmas tradition that I hope never goes away. I think they ate more cookie dough than was left to make cookies!
My two little second cousins, Laney (2) and Koryn (4), acted as Santa's little helpers when it came time to pass out the gifts. That, (and these adorable little aprons mom got for them), earned them the privilege of helping Granny make the Christmas cookies this year. This is one Christmas tradition that I hope never goes away. I think they ate more cookie dough than was left to make cookies!
Rusty and I really enjoyed the cookies! Aren't we the cutest brother and sister you ever did see?
So here's to Christmas traditions! May every year bring such fun memories, wonderful food and the best family I could hope for.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Everyone eventually bats out of a slump
I'm definately in a slump right now. Not a life slump, just a dating slump. I'm actually really happy right now. Finally. It took me a while to get there, but I have arrived. I have great friends, a good job, the prospect of owning my own business if I choose, the ability to pack up and move to New York if I want. I only have to make up my mind and follow it, and I don't have a deadline to rush me. I realized this past week that I am in a great place in life. (Thanks, roomie-sister!)
Now, about this dating slump. Most often, the best way out of a slump is to approach the problem from a different angle. Well, as the only angle I've used thus far has been to do next to nothing, finding a new perspective shouldn't be extremely difficult. My plan is to actually be a girl. (Surprised!?) I have actually been attracting attention since I started wearing makeup and fixing my hair and just generally caring about my appearance. I know, I know.... you've been telling me that for year(s). But I'm finally believing it. And I love it. So, I'm going to schedule an appointment to get my hair done. Not too short, but flirty and sassy. Maybe lighten my natural strawberry blonde color and add some copper and blonde highlights. Then I'm going shopping for some cute heels and a killer new outfit. Yes, I said killer...I'm going to stop those boys in their tracks! Then I'm going out to a nice club/bar/somewhere that would attract a more mature clientel than the typical college frat hangout, (not that the bar is set high with that qualifier). Or perhaps I'll just go to that college frat hangout and show them what they have to look forward to. Wish you were here to share in my plans and guide me around town, or I were there explore the windy city with you. But we'll coordinate on that when Brad comes to visit!
Now, about this dating slump. Most often, the best way out of a slump is to approach the problem from a different angle. Well, as the only angle I've used thus far has been to do next to nothing, finding a new perspective shouldn't be extremely difficult. My plan is to actually be a girl. (Surprised!?) I have actually been attracting attention since I started wearing makeup and fixing my hair and just generally caring about my appearance. I know, I know.... you've been telling me that for year(s). But I'm finally believing it. And I love it. So, I'm going to schedule an appointment to get my hair done. Not too short, but flirty and sassy. Maybe lighten my natural strawberry blonde color and add some copper and blonde highlights. Then I'm going shopping for some cute heels and a killer new outfit. Yes, I said killer...I'm going to stop those boys in their tracks! Then I'm going out to a nice club/bar/somewhere that would attract a more mature clientel than the typical college frat hangout, (not that the bar is set high with that qualifier). Or perhaps I'll just go to that college frat hangout and show them what they have to look forward to. Wish you were here to share in my plans and guide me around town, or I were there explore the windy city with you. But we'll coordinate on that when Brad comes to visit!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)